Form, Diction, & Syntax

In an exemplary poem, all of the different elements--form, diction, syntax, imagery, tone etc.--coalesce to produce a haunting sequence of words. I think that one thing that beginning poets struggle with is getting all of these elements to work with each other, not in opposition. At some point this semester, we talked about how if the tone of a poem does not match with the diction or syntax then the poem is not nearly as effective. One aspect that Applewhite is successful in is his ability to match the diction, syntax, and imagery with the tone of the poem. As I've written about earlier, many of his poems describe the past, where he uses more formal, perhaps borderline archaic, diction and syntax. He uses long lines that fill most of the physical page to mirror the density of his descriptions. Additionally, he often writes single-stanza poems; he uses this most often when writing narrative poems--this way, stanza breaks do not break with the flow of the story.

There is one poem in "Daytime and Starlight" that I think breaks with Applewhite's usual use of form: "Wings"

We'll ascend the keen plane
------in a dawn-gazelle
--antlered with radar
-----------------having seen

gleaming truths, arising.
--------Aluminum gains
--meaning as cities
----------------fall from us.

Thristing west and east
-------these beasts of velocity
--inhale horizons
-----------------opening exits--

intense centers we
------enter, levitating with
--a prayer. Not lighter
---------------than air though

ferried farther than by a
-------dream, we harry clouds
--in stratospheres above
-----------------remembrance.

Unaware of continents
----------beyond imaginable
---force, we crease
----------------existence, close

to a barrier polished by a
----------quickness past breathing.
--From present to future
-----------------we attenuate

balancing the old and a newer
------------life, navigating
---origin and desire
-----------------as the polestar

guides our thrust toward
-----aphelion. We nod there,
--lax among magazines
--------------waking through

unknown time zones
--------to Rome and a tongue.
--Above, tomorrow
--------------we'll be platinum

foils, contrails, cigarette
-----smoke taut-drawn
between
-------------departure and destination.


(The line indicate the indentations--Blogger deletes the tabs.)

Applewhite matches the title, "Wings," with the placement on the page---the indentations remind the reader of flight. When he describes abstract ideas, Applewhite continues the flight connections: "gleaming truths, arising." In the second stanza, I think that it is particularly effective that the first line ends in "arising" and the last line begins with "fall." These written indicates of physical space complement the arrangement of the words on the page. Applewhite's diction in this poem also gives it a feel of motion:

levitating
inhale
opening
harry
quickness
balancing
navigating

The combination of vivid, flight-like diction and airy syntax (Applewhite does not include a subject at the beginning of any of the stanzas except the first; I think that this makes the reader feel an ascension away from the beginning excertation of "we'll ascend") complement the poem's physical structure on the page, and this makes the poem more successful than if any of the three elements were not present.